


Mog the Cat, the Man in the Moon, and Steve's Tiny Bladder

by neversaydie



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Commercials, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5522051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neversaydie/pseuds/neversaydie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There's a cat causing a fire, Steve. I have no idea what the hell this is supposed to advertise."</p><p>"Well…" Steve trails off almost immediately because he still needs to piss like hell and he has no idea what to tell Bucky about the wonderful world of modern advertising. Christmas has been a little overwhelming for his boyfriend, a lot of new concepts at once on top of the whole accepting gifts thing that's totally contrary to his programming, so he's not surprised there's been a tiny little semi-freak out over something seemingly innocuous. </p><p>"And there's another one, with this old man on the moon and he's all alone." Wide-eyed, Bucky looks reasonably distressed about whatever advert he's found on the wonderful world wide web tonight. "How is that Christmassy, Steve? What's the lonely old guy in space supposed to sell me? The used to just tell you what the product was and what it did. How do you know now?!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mog the Cat, the Man in the Moon, and Steve's Tiny Bladder

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays pals!
> 
> I officially got something up every day for my 'secret' 12 Days of Ficmas. I'm so proud.
> 
> Also, if you google the mentioned adverts you'll find that they're both real.

"Buck?"

Steve is about 9% awake and at about 90% bladder capacity when he stumbles into the living room, the glow of the Christmas tree lights and Bucky's laptop screen distracting him from his imminent toilet mission. He's not really awake enough to register more than the fact that Bucky is present, so he squints at the vague shape of his boyfriend blearily as he walks over.

Bucky clearly hasn't slept yet tonight, blinking up at Steve owlishly in the bleached-out light of youtube turned way too bright reflected on his skin. It's almost three in the morning and Steve's suddenly not sure what he's supposed to do if Bucky tells him he's been waiting up to catch Santa and interrogate him to find out how he breached the Tower's security systems. Fictional characters that everyone pretends are real aren't something he's totally sure how to explain when he needs to piss like an overhydrated racehorse.

"Did I wake you up?" His headphones aren't plugged into the laptop jack, so he must have been listening to whatever he's watching through the speakers. His eyes are ringed with a blush of purple and Steve might be concerned if he were more awake right now.

"Nah, I gotta piss." Steve peers curiously at the screen when he's close enough to actually see it. "Are you watching cat videos again?"

"No, I found these weird fucking commercials from England or something." Bucky looks very concerned by the video that's silently repeating in front of him of a fat, computer-generated cat apparently fucking up the entire house of its family. "There's a cat causing a fire, Steve. I have no idea what the hell this is supposed to advertise."

"Well…" Steve trails off almost immediately because he still needs to piss like hell and he has no idea what to tell Bucky about the wonderful world of modern advertising. Christmas has been a little overwhelming for his boyfriend, a lot of new concepts at once on top of the whole _accepting gifts_ thing that's totally contrary to his programming, so he's not surprised there's been a tiny little semi-freak out over something seemingly innocuous.

"And there's another one, with this old man on the moon and he's all alone." Wide-eyed, Bucky looks reasonably distressed about whatever advert he's found on the wonderful world wide web tonight. "How is that Christmassy, Steve? What's the lonely old guy in space supposed to sell me? They used to just tell you what the product was and what it did. How do you know now?!"

"I have no idea." Steve yawns widely and leans down to kiss Bucky on the forehead, right where the blanket burrito exposes his hairline. "I'm gonna piss before I piss on you. Turn the cat and the old man off."

He heads into the bathroom and shuts the door before taking what feels like the longest piss of his life. Bucky keeps talking throughout, because he hasn't quite grasped the context of privacy yet and he doesn't give a shit about yelling loud enough about random commercials at three a.m. to penetrate the bathroom door.

"The clips are so fast, each scene is about five seconds or less." The rant finally ends when Steve exits the bathroom, Bucky gesturing at the screen from within his blanket cocoon and looking totally bewildered. "It's too fast! How can people keep up?!"

"Beats me." Steve reaches over and presses the sleep button on Bucky's laptop, because it's Christmas day tomorrow and he has to deal with Tony's somewhat excessive holiday enthusiasm all day and he's _not_ doing that on no sleep. "We're going to bed."

"But the cat—"

"C'mon. We can watch a movie in bed."  He cuts Bucky off and gently pulls him to his feet, the weary slump of his boyfriend's shoulders and sluggish response of his muscles telling Steve that it's definitely time to try and get Bucky lying down before he falls down. "I think there's some Christmas stuff on Netflix."

"I'm not blowing you to singing elves." Bucky mumbles, grouchy and sleepy, as Steve shepherds him into the bedroom. He collapses face-down on the bed immediately, because he always did knock out like a toddler even before he had seventy years of brain damage to try and sleep off.

"You had no problem blowing me to green Christmas-ruiners last night." Steve settles on the other side of the bed, smiling to himself when he's immediately smothered by octopus-Bucky. JARVIS brings up the projector screen on their wall without instruction, because it usually helps them both to have some background noise while they sleep.

"I'm not blowing you to the Grinch again. You… Who." Bucky shoves his cold nose into Steve's neck and starts drooling on him almost as he closes his eyes. JARVIS starts playing the Muppet's Christmas Carol because it was the next on their playlist, and Steve snuggles down to nuzzle into Bucky's head and close his eyes.

"Wake us up at least an hour after Tony gets up, J." Is the last thing he mumbles before he falls asleep with Bucky's familiar smell in his nose and the gentle sounds of a children's movie in his ear. They're too wiped to make it to the first song, but that's not important.

It's already the best Christmas day Steve's had for seventy years, it can only get better from here.


End file.
